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Dear Diary…Being an Adult is Hard

August 12, 2013

The rules of being an adult are pretty universally known.  They are as follows:

You graduate high school then go to college.

Find a mate, get married, buy a house, have babies.

After (and in between) that it gets kind of vague….get a nice car, find a hobby, maybe start crafting or some shit.

Confession time:  I am 30 now, which I think is firmly considered the ‘you’re an adult’ age.  I have epic failed on almost everything above.  College? Nope.  House?  Nope.  Babies?  Negative Ghost Rider.  And if you think I’m the kind of girl that spends my spare time scrap booking, you are mistaken.  I did get married.  But he’s about as adult as I was 10 years ago…so maybe only half credit there.

My point is this:  THE POINT OF BEING AN ADULT IS DOING WHAT YOU WANT.  I said it.  Life is not meant to be some prix fixe menu where you must select an appetizer, entree, and dessert.  I want dessert for the whole thing damn it!

Now of course, there’s nothing wrong with your picket fence and 2.5 kids, if that’s what you have.  If that makes you happy, then it was the right choice.  But people need to quit insisting that those are the correct formula for the path to happiness.  You see, 30 is an ugly age.  I thought the 20’s were pretty bad, with everyone asking you ‘what you want to be when you grow up’ all the time.  Tip of the iceberg.  If you’ve reached 30 and you still don’t have it all figured out, everyone goes all DEFCON 1 on your your ass and gets concerned that at any moment your ovaries will shrivel and die, and you’ll be left homeless for your golden years.  Meanwhile, I’m just trying to decide which bottle of wine to open next and if I would prefer Asia or South America for the next big adventure.

Women, of course, are the worst with this.  We love nothing more than to smile politely at each other with a hearty ‘you go girl’ in faux support of whatever it is the other is trying to achieve.  But as soon as you’ve left the room they all roll their eyes and begin the barrage of what an epic joke/failure/idiot you are.  And I’m not trying to get all high and mighty.  I’ve joined in more than once.

Why is it when a woman doesn’t want kids we ask why or try and convince her she’s missing out?  Why are you supposed to get married rather than just keep complete freedom or a committed partner?  Who says drinking wine is not a hobby???

And you guys don’t get off the hook a whole lot better.  By 30 you better have a stable career that is able to support the wife/baby/house that you’re supposed to have or be in the process of.  Heaven forbid we just recognize that many men of 30 these days are just plain not suited for marriage and responsibilities. (Sorry guys…but no.)

This is not 1950.  It’s supposed to be more accepted now to have ‘alternative lifestyles’ (who even knows what that MEANS anymore??), but we still go ahead and judge everyone who isn’t doing it right.  The truth is that it’s okay that I only work part time at a job I love.  It’s okay that I am not spending the next 20 years paying off student loans that I never had to get.  And it’s okay if I want to save my money to go to places you wouldn’t, rather than buy a house.

So with that said, I have no mortgage to pay, no kid to feed, or dog to walk right now….looks like it’s wine:30.


From → Daily Rambles

  1. Jennifer Hill permalink

    Well said lady! Do you and have another glass of wine for me cause being knocked up isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

    • Do I?! Ha, I will absolutely have some for you. I’ve been watching your posts of the countdown. Can’t wait to see pictures of the little man.

  2. Yes, yes, yes.

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