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Wino Wednesday: My Husband Has Left the Building

August 14, 2013

Wooo!  Party! ….Wait.

I know I said these were going to be grateful posts.  But I lied.  Actually, I changed my mind.  I’m a grown lady and that’s how I do.

Billy has officially left to go be in a friend’s wedding, which means I have the place to myself.  So I thought I would cover the joys of ‘single life’ and what I actually do when he leaves.

First thing’s first: Why is going pee with the door open so awesome?!  Now I know some of you married and taken folks already do this with your significant other in the house, but well, you’re gross.  That’s not how we roll around here.  There is little to no mystery left once you’re married, this is one I’m keeping.   Any who…that’s happening the next few days.  It really is all about the little things, as you will see…

Normally I’m a pretty good cook.  I like to make regular dinners and random other treats around here.  When it’s just me?  It’s time for popcorn for breakfast and peanut butter out of the jar for lunch!  My version of a balanced meal will include one bottle of wine to go with my lean cuisine for dinner.  It’s mildly depressing and deeply liberating at the same time.  Adding insult to injury, he’s a trainer, so we really do try and eat healthy most of the time.  But when he leaves….

Cake

Guys think we watch dumb shows when they’re home.  That’s nothing compared to what happens when they leave.  “Oh hello, Netflix.  What’s that?  You have season one of the Babysitter’s Club on instant watch?  AND the Revenge of the Nerds trilogy?!  Looks like my Friday night is planned.”

Nerds

Confession time: I am moments away from turning on some Beyonce, possibly putting on some heels, and strutting around the apartment lip syncing as though I am the Sasha Fierce.  Maybe I’ll wear pants, maybe I won’t.  Doesn’t matter, there will be no witnesses.  I don’t even need wine for this phase of the operation.

Beyonce

I definitely look exactly like that when I ‘perform’.  I try not to do it in public so people won’t be jealous.

I think that covers the high points.  I’m sure Billy is somewhere reading this and getting extremely jealous now, but I gotta get in all my crazy partying while he’s gone.  *hair toss*

 

So what embarrassing/nerdy/awesome things do you do when you get the house to yourself?  Don’t leave me hanging….I can’t be the only one living it up like this.

 

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From → Wino Wednesdays

2 Comments
  1. Cleve the Honey Badger permalink

    So true. Ashley is gone this week, I have been peeing with the door open (and not flushing, if it is yellow let it mellow), watching doctor who, playing Halo…

    I did make a good dinner though, and exercised… so go me. Love ROTN… good choice.

  2. The husband permalink

    You invited Beyonce over and didn’t tell me she was coming??? I’m pissed!!! …. nothing exciting here, when you leave it’s nerd city in front of the computer… followed by the healthy food you’ve no doubtedly left for me so I won’t starve. Aaaaaaaand that’s about it.

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