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Wino Wedsnesday – Things I Shouldn’t Admit

August 21, 2013

In the spirit of drinking too much of well, anything, I’m going to list some things that are either TMI, unpopular, or just downright stupid.  Because nothing says ‘shit wasted’ quite like spilling a few things you would never tell your diary.

1.)  Know that if you answer the phone in a restaurant and it’s not important, I’m going to slap the shit out of you.  Likewise, if you’re supposed to be catching up with me, quit texting everyone else.

2.)  I didn’t miss my husband on this last trip.  You’re not supposed to admit this.  But I enjoyed every moment away.  Don’t worry, I am happy he’s back.

3.)  I weigh 165 pounds.  I’m not sure why weight is government classified information with women.  Just because you won’t admit it, doesn’t mean anyone is mistaking you for 115 pounds.

4.)  Same goes for age.  This isn’t a rude question.  Just because you don’t want to answer it, doesn’t mean I will assume you’re 29.  You’re aging, get over it.

5.)  I’ve never been into Brad Pitt, George Clooney, or Ryan Gosling.  They just don’t do it for me.

6.)  I can wiggle my ears.  A long time ago my mom told me only boys can do that.  Guess I better hunt down my penis.

7.)  I’ve definitely pulled out the ‘helpless dumb blonde’ card.  Judge away.

8.)  I read all of the Twilight and 50 Shades books.  And I loved every second of it.  Quit hating on books you think are terribly written.  Have YOU ever tried to sit down and write a book?  These people did.

9.)  If you order a glass of white zinfindel, don’t turn to me and tell me how you love wine.  I’ve already started judging you.

10.)  The ways I’m terrible with technology: I don’t know how to use an ipad, pretty sure I never learned how to burn a cd, and I can’t really use the GPS on my phone.

11.)  Who’s with me ladies?  – The most awkward feeling in the world is pulling a 12+ inch hair from your ass crack in the shower.

12.)  I’m a huge dog lover.  Really, I’m all for them….but you animal shelter nuts piss me off.  I don’t exactly see you adopting a kid instead of making your ‘pure bred’.  Orphanages are overflowing too, where’s your logic there? (This one will probably get me yelled at the most)

13.)  Some of your babies/kids on facebook are not cute.  This happens, we can’t all have cute babies.  Hopefully they grow out of looking like weird little trolls.  (Side note: I will probably end up with the world’s most awkward looking baby now).

Okay, I think that’s enough honesty for the day 😉

What are your guilty pleasures?  Anything you’re famous for judging even though you maybe shouldn’t?


From → Wino Wednesdays

  1. I think your blog has been very fun and funny to read. It’s always been interesting to see what you’re going to say or what’s on your mind.

    I read the first 2 books of Twilight and lost interest, but I do have to say that the problem with the 50 shades books is with how poorly they portray the BDSM culture. A quick Google search brings a few articles explaining some of these problems:

    No one is going to put Twilight or 50 Shades on the same list as “Classics” but if someone enjoys reading them then I say more power to them. I mean I watch some of the weirdest anime that a grown man is not supposed to enjoy, so I’m not judging the people who read those books.

    • I would never suggest that they’re classics. They’re absolutely guilty pleasures. And I wasn’t reading 50 Shades for accuracy purposes. 😉
      Simply pointing out that it is extremely difficult to write a book…Stephanie Meyer was never an author before that. To write that many pages, terrible or not, took a lot of time and effort. So people should either enjoy them for what they are, or read a classic.

  2. Sharon permalink

    Still laughing at # 11………:)

  3. Billy permalink

    I whole heartedly agree with the texting thing. It happens CONSTSTANTLY where i work. Have a conversation with real people first… the ones in front of you, waiting for a response. Makes me want to do a spinning back kick to their phone just for theatrics and to prove a point. Dont be rude… you jackass. 🙂

  4. I agree with the whole dog and shelters thing. I mean, yes I have adopted cat before but as for dogs, well im a pug lover. I’ve had pure bread pugs since I was 15 and therefore dont adopt when i want a pug. My guilty pleasures are Paul Walker movies and the Jonas Brothers. I cant enough of both. I think I own almost every PW movie and I have ever album by the JoBro’s. I think I drive Laura nuts lol.

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