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Where Have All the Real Men Gone?

August 26, 2013

No, really….what the hell is happening?  This is something I wonder frequently, especially when I see things such as the VMA’s, or the random hipster spot we ate at this morning.  Um,excuse me sir, you forgot how to man.

Hipster Wiz Khalifa

Frank Sinatra wouldn’t be caught dead looking that ridiculous.  But the clothes aren’t what really gets me about this current generation (and much of mine to be honest).  It’s the attitude.  You can call it anti feminism if you want to, but I think a man is supposed to fill a certain role.  Things were a certain way for hundreds of years for a reason.  And while I’m obviously all about the strides we’ve made as women, I think we’ve inadvertently created a bunch of pussies.  (Disclaimer:  Please understand…none of this applies to the fabulous gays.  This is only for straight men that I speak of.)

Somewhere along our quest of being able to run around without bras and make more money, men got the idea in their heads that they could now slack off.  No.  Several things about this are incredibly unsexy, including, but not limited to:

Go to work!  Under no circumstances should you be whining about a job you don’t like.  Get a better one, or appreciate the one you have.  But don’t whine about how you’re under appreciated, under paid, or had to work a whole 40 hours.  Real men just get it done.

Quit buying tighter pants than mine.  No wonder you can’t find your balls, they packed up and went on vacation for some air.

I know technology has made many advances, but for the love of God, put down the PS3/iPad/cell phone and learn a real skill!  It has come to my attention there are men who cannot make a proper fire.  I expect you to do that shit blind folded, and preferably know how to kill something for me to cook on it.  Go outside, it’s good for you.

Some other basics for all men to master: change a tire/oil, put together furniture (bonus points for building your own), know how to use correct English.  Please, learn how to speak and text in something other than complete rubbish slang.  When in doubt men, ask yourself if Clint Eastwood would knock you out for sounding like an asshole.  If the answer is yes, you’re saying it wrong.

I don’t feel like I’m asking too much with all of this.  Women are now expected to have and do it all: have a career, raise babies, snap back to a size 4 afterwards, and throw together Matha Stewart worthy meals.  Sure, most of us are failing in at least one of these areas….but we damn near drive ourselves mad trying.  I expect the same from you.

For the women who are reading this and think I have 1950’s values and sound outrageous, well….you are partly right.  And I think if you were honest with yourselves, you want some of them to.  But for the ones who disagree, please share.  Have I listed qualities in a man that you don’t want, or do you somehow think men are on the right path currently?  Help me help them: what do we want from a man in 2013?

Men: Thoughts?  Think I’m being unfair?…I know there are obviously some of you who don’t have the above problems, but these are common observations I’ve been having lately.



From → Daily Rambles

  1. Nicole Femling permalink

    I love this so much! Thankfully I have a real man who builds me shit and fixes broken things, works OT without batting an eye, helps me out around the house, and has no problem whipping up a delicious dinner. I vow, as a creature of our generation, to raise my son up right. I will leave the boy skills to my hubby and scouts (knot tying, fire building, fishing, what have you). I will make sure he wears his pants higher than his knees, says please and thank you, has table manners, and will hold a door for a lady!

    • Thanks goodness for that! I’m almost petrified to ever have a girl because I don’t know what her options will be!

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