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Wino Wednesday – Suck It Fall

September 11, 2013

That’s right, I hope your pumpkin spice lattes are weeping.  For the past one or two weeks I’ve been bombarded with people excited for ‘boots, and sweaters and pumpkins oh my!’  You can take your 8 million pumpkin recipes and shove them right up your ass.

My Washington Facebook ‘friends’ are worse for so many reasons; the biggest one of which is that YOU BARELY GET SUMMER!  But hey, I guess somebody has to live up there and actually  love that crap weather, right?  It’s just hard for me to understand why people are so fickle about seasons.  They moan and groan for MONTHS waiting for summer.  Then one heat wave hits and they’re over it.  Me personally?  I’m so excited that my summer doesn’t begin and end in August for the first time in six years, that I may throw up.  Really, I’ll probably just extend my beach time, but throwing up could technically go with that too (that bikini doesn’t wear itself people).  I kid, I would never be bulimic, I spend too much money on good food for that.  Moving on…

For those of you all jacked up about boots, really?  First of all, I hate having my feet confined that much.  Second, sandals are just cuter.  Unless you have fugly feet, but that’s another post.  So great, now it’s boot season for you.  If you’re in WA, I can’t wait to hear about how over boots you are in April.

Don’t take any of this the wrong way.  I actually DO enjoy pumpkin things.  And I think fall leaves are pretty.  But why not live in the moment instead of just waiting for the next thing?  Quit rushing it.  There’s a reason so many songs are about summer: it’s because it’s awesome.  Everyone is just a little bit more carefree, a little more adventurous.  I can’t think of any songs about the joy of scarves off the top of my head.

The only real way I want to differentiate seasons is by moving to more red wine instead of white.  It sure as shit isn’t about moving from iced tea to pumpkin lattes.  Disclosure: I don’t like coffee, and a pumpkin latte sounds like spiced up compost juice.

So this weekend I will go wine tasting and I will go to the beach.  There will be no apple picking and excited boot shopping for me.  For those of you in WA, I know you’re having one last final push of heat wave.  I suggest you enjoy it.  Come March you will be back in the bitter barn, dying for sun that will continue to elude you for another three months.  I know some of your are going to tell me how much some people like the rain and blah blah blah.  But I see it from you same people every year once you’ve had too much of that.  You go right back to being fickle and wanting something else.  Enjoy what you’ve got while you’ve got it.

This pretty much sums up what I’m trying to say: Summer

 

Which side are you on?  Good or evil?  Are you all jacked up for fall, or enjoy your final moments of carefree summer?

 

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From → Wino Wednesdays

2 Comments
  1. While you know that I am 100 percent in agreement with you. You need to read this… http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/its-decorative-gourd-season-motherfuckers

    It. Is. Fabulous.

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